Almost a Flasher

So...

Last night was the big concert. My wife and daughter went out and got their hair done as well as purchased new outfits for the occasion. I'm assuming that the outfits are due to the fact that the mega superstar they were going to see had already seen them in all of their other outfits. Whatever. It was my daughter's first big concert so more power to 'em. Any hoo, this left me and my son with a boys' night out. But what should we do?

I had learned, earlier in the week, about an establishment in town who was organizing a flash mob for this very night. For those of you who don't know much about flash mobs, they are a group of hundreds of random people who ascend on a predetermined place at a predetermined time. They'll stay for a short period of time, maybe doing something maybe not, and then just leave as quickly as they showed up. This group was hoping for about 500 people to show up outside of the big concert before it started, have everyone freeze in random poses, hold those poses for three minutes, and then just jet. Basically, the whole idea is to amuse and confuse. And trust me, if I could have a motto that would sum up my goal in life, amuse and confuse would be it.

So at this point I'm excited. I've never been a part of a flash mob. Plus, it provided an opportunity to be, in a small way, part of the big concert the rest of my family was going to. I was concerned that my son would not be able stand still for three minutes, however. He barely can stay still for three minutes when he's asleep. He was talking about the different poses he was thinking about freezing in for a couple of days though, so I figured he was psyched about it. Then my wife reminded me of another option we could do with our time.

My son's school was hosting a fathers reading to their kids program that very night at the very same time the flash mob would be doing their thing. There would be cafeteria hot dogs and the kids would get a free book. My son, of course, was pretty excited about the free book. So now I'm stuck with a decision that could further my goal of amusing and confusing but leaving me looking like an ass of a father, or sharing a cold hot dog and a cheap book with my son because I know that's what he'd rather do. I know you're probably thinking that this was no choice at all. It was a no-brainer and the fact that I even had to think about it makes me look like a bad dad. Well I did think about it, so sue me. Deep down in my heart though, I knew how we would be spending our evening.

So we go get our hot dogs, bag of chips, and warm bottles of water. We pick out a book from a table filled with Clifford, Dora, and Scooby-Doo related reading material. We do our craft and head out. My son, who's not quite old enough to get the whole flash mob thing, asks if there is still time to do the freezing thing. I explain that it's already over and he tries to console me by saying that next time we can skip the book and go freezing.

The rest of the night offered ice cream from Dairy Queen, a rented copy of Alvin and the Chipmunks: the Squeakquel (whatever the hell a "squeakquel" is), bath night, jamma time, and off to bed. So in the end, the choice was simple. Either three minutes of standing in place or a whole evening of interaction with my son. Almost a flasher but always a dad.

Is eBay Broken?

So...

There is a big concert coming to town and as any good parent would do, I tried to purchase two $70 tickets so my daughter could go. As we all know, these concerts sell out in 15 minutes so I was left without any tickets. I spent the next week scanning the radio dial listening for contests to win some tickets. I found a radio station that played a three second montage of three song clips by the artist. You had to be the 15th caller and correctly identify all three songs. I figured that I had no chance in hell of being the 15th caller much less identifying all three songs.

Luckily for me, the radio station had teamed up with a local news station and if you watched the late night news, they would give you the answer to all three song titles that would be played for the next morning's contest. So, like any good parent, I stayed up and watched the news, wrote down the song titles, and set my alarm so I would not miss the contest. So I woke up the next morning and battled it out with 500,000 other people all trying to be the 15th caller. And wouldn't ya know it? I got through. So I'm on the phone with the DJ, I give him all three song titles, he tells me I've won, I do my happy parent dance and life is good. Woo hoo! That was in December. Fast forward to last night.

My home phone rings and check the caller ID. I don't recognize the number. I got an unlisted number 'cause there are just too many crazies in the world. So I'm thinking it's got be a friend of my daughter's. The guy on the other end asks if it's me and I say yes. He tells me his name and I can't quite make it out. Obviously, this guy knows who I am and I'm supposed to know who he is. Now I don't want to be a jerk or an ass and tell this guy that I can't remember who he is so I play along like a Hardy boy piecing together clues in a lame attempt not to hurt this guy's feelings. The first thing he asks is if I'm going to the concert. I say my daughter is and he goes on to tell me how he heard me on the radio three months ago winning the tickets. As he continues, he mentions his wife's name and some other info that sets off a light bulb in my head and I now know who I'm talking to.

The guy on the other end used to be a good friend but through starting families, moving and life we lost touch. I haven't seen or heard from this guy in literally five years. Now he calls me up out of the blue asking if I'm going to a concert. Then it happens. The reason he called. He wants to know if I would pick up some souvenir crap from the concert for his daughter and meet up with him sometime later so he could get the stuff and pay me back. In all of my excitement of figuring out who the hell was on the other end of the phone without sounding like a jackass, I said sure. Then it occurred to me that I had never given this guy my new unlisted number so I asked how he got it. He tells me he contacted his mother who contacted my mother-in-law who relayed the number to him. The guy went through some trouble to get my number. Obviously he really wants some souvenir crap. We hung up after I told him I'd call him later to set up a time to give him the stuff.

It got me to thinking about the concerts I've been to. I'll buy a t-shirt or whatever just because I'm there. But if I really want some souvenir crap I can always go to that person's website and buy it there. If not there, then on eBay. But not this guy. I've now got to send my family with extra money to buy his crap that they're expected to lug around through a crowed arena just so his daughter can have an 8x10 glossy because he didn't have the fortitude to watch the evening news, memorize the three songs, do the scavenger hunt, call up and sing the artist's songs in falsetto or whatever lame contest the radio stations run to crank up their ratings.

Don't get me wrong, I would have told him I would gotten the stuff anyway. It's for his daughter and this was his good parent act. I commend the man for that. But he's not the sharpest tool in the shed. Resourceful, yes but not bright. If he figured out a way to get to me, how many of my other past friends might come out of the woodwork and try the same thing? Especially if they hear that I'm sending my family to this concert with a shopping list for this guy. What kind of friend would I be to deny their children some souvenir crap since I told this other guy I would?

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you try to call me over the next couple of days... I'm not going to answer.